I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
