Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
