That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize