WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
