ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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