her vagine was all disorganized.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize