I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize