You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
