Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think people are normalizing furries
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
