would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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