And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
