Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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