yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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