he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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