I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
