So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
