You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
