forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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