I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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