Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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