All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
