We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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