Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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