I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
