We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
