man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
