he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
