he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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