Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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