sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
