Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I need to calm my uterus...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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