I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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