Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
