That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
