her vagine was all disorganized.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
