doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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