Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im having a threesome with these popsicles
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
