you guys were way drunker than both of me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
