oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
