It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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