would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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