even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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