I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
