Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
