well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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