That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
