Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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