Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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