Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
