There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
