Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
