Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
