he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
