This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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