Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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