never play flip cup with pint glasses
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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