Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
