Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i've created a new STD.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
