You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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