Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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