We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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