Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
