Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
